Updates.... HELP!!!!! - Step Talk

So, it's been a long time since I've posted... Last dec/jan I called off the wedding. In march, I evicted his family, my tenants, from my house and moved back home. We are still partners in our law firm. We are still "engaged," but no date is currently on the table. Told him SD10 and her issues were too big for me. Told him that I could never see myself coming back unless things changed BIG TIME. At first, he acted happy that i was gone. No one bitching about his precious daughter and her horrid behavior. Then, one month to the day after I left, she got her first period. Hygiene = non existent. Behavior = bad as ever. And now it's all on him. He says he wants things to change. He says he's willing to sack up on the discipline front. But even the simplest of changes are slow going. I can't fathom leaving my sanctuary and going back for anything short of moving mountains.

Oh yeah, and there's more... I hooked up with someone else. A colleague. And he left SD at home to come to my house to spy and caught me. We were technically broken up, but it was still bad behavior on my part. But I couldn't help but obsess over the fact that when I lived there, we couldn't even sleep with our door closed bc he was afraid someone might break in and kidnap precious (they'd return her in 15 mins, ransom waived. And just FYI, he lives in a VERY affluent neighborhood). I couldn't help but obsess about the double standard of it all.

So now we are "working on things," but I just feel so lost. I love him, but hated our blended life. I can't imagine moving back in, or selling my place without huge changes. Not even my hook up guilt makes me want to go back to that hell. But I can't completely let the relationship go. What the fuck is wrong with me?!?

Source: http://www.steptalk.org/node/139945

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